My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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