I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
be right there i have to get my cape
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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