Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
