so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
