i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
