Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
