I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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