doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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