What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
