Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
