How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
