im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
