He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
