a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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