bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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