Cold hands, warm shart.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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