im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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