margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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