Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
