I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
time to smoke my breakfast
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
