i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
