i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
