the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize