So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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