What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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