Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
