So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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