their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
