I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize