Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
