Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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