he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
