just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
