Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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