So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
