He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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