There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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