Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
