i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
