Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
