I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You are a genius and a whore.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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