When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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