OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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