Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
