i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
