you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
