dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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