I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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