Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
