Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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